Assalamualaikum..While talking to somebody, be it your family, friend or colleagues, you look at them and suddenly they break away and won’t look at you directly. Have this situation ever occurred to you? Despite your excitement and attentiveness, he/she sometimes do not look at you directly. Are there any problems with your face? Relax guys, there are no problems with your face (you’re handsome and pretty as usual) or your talking, it is just your eyes. They literally “scare” them from looking at you.
How is the eyes function? Eye contacts have biological and emotive effects. When you stare sharply towards your partner’s eye, it will increase the heartbeats and shoot the adrenaline, making you captivated by the talking. The adrenaline will release hormones resulting to the feeling of intimacy, harmony, calamity or even anger. Try to recall the situation when somebody looked into your eyes and you feel fascinated with their conversation. The easiest thing, what do you feel when your spouse (husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend) look at you directly? That is among the examples.
Because of the biological and emotion relationship, your boss or lecturer insists on you making eye contacts while presenting in front of your clients or classes. In formal situation like business, direct eye contacts sends the message of honesty and confident. All the people in front of you are great people (eg: bosses, CEO’s, executives) and yet you dare to look directly into their eyes. That is where the confidence is interpreted.
Besides that, eye contacts also show that you appreciate their attendance and attentiveness. It is the feeling you felt when you attended a concert, for example Justin Bieber, and he looked at you directly, suddenly you are so fascinated that he did notice you amidst of the thousand crowds. It is the same feeling. When you look at your audiences, they feel like you notice them in that situation therefore appreciate you more by giving their full attention to your presentation. It also signals that you are in control of that situation. They feel connected to you when you talk. When you notify everybody in the room, it shows that you are signifying every one of them and have them under your eyes. Nobody is not noticed and beyond your eyes and control.
But be careful, your eyes are so powerful that eye contacts reveal majorly the non verbal message you are sending to your partners or audiences. It reveals your personality, your ways of thinking, your message and the biggest thing, is your intention! That’s why you have to use your eyes carefully while talking, or people will negatively judge you. For this part, I will only touch on intention.
Looking too deeply and too long will imply that you are trying to control them forcefully. You will be perceived as autocratic. This is usually hazardous to men as when you look too direct towards them, they will fell like to be controlled, threatened or annoying. Instead of having the harmonious idea that you want to share with them your product or idea in the first place, you will be sensed as insistently promoting you product. That is why people won’t listen and disconnect from you. You look like forcing them.
Breaking eye contacts also jeopardize your reputation. As you are talking and you are making less eye contact, it shows that you are not confident. That is the typical idea people will have towards presenters with no eye contacts. Moreover, breaking or lowering eye contacts while the presenter is looking at you will mean submissiveness. As I was saying, eye contacts send the message that someone is trying to control you. By breaking away or lowering you eyes, it shows that he has overpowered you. The trick is to maintain your eye contacts and if he breaks away first from you, it means that he fails to control you. You win!
Wow, your eyes are so powerful. It helps most your presentation and surprisingly, do the subtle “talking” for you. The effects both positive and negative are massive, so use your eyes carefully. You have great eyes, so be GREAT guys! Wishing you all the best in your communication.
Hustle up and be GREAT!
Salam transformasi daripada,